With each of our adoption journeys my relationship to our heavenly Father has grown. Our very first adoption experience is one of my favorite memories of God’s faithfulness in our lives. It was the last day of the month of April in 2008. Months earlier, I thought I had heard God tell me that our baby would be born in April. And as the month started coming to an end, friends told me that maybe April meant something different. One even mentioned that maybe April was the month of conception of my child. This wasn’t comforting to me, as I was not mentally prepared to wait another 9 months. But I held tightly onto that promise . . . until May 1st. Then I felt it was safe to assume that surely I had misunderstood God.
I always had my cell phone turned off at work, but not on the last day of April. I had it on vibrate, right next to me. I was completely ready for our social worker to call us on this day with the news of a last minute baby. But that call never came. After work I rushed home to check the answering machine, only to find no messages. That night, I was on my knees with my face in a chair doing a little praying, a little crying and telling God, once again, that I trusted Him. But had I misunderstood Him? I had been so confident. I had shared my heart with close friends and family and asked them to pray with us for the month of April. That month had been so heavy on my heart and Jeremy and I saw clear signs of God confirming it to us. I was so ready to see God at work and see our prayers answered. So as the clock ticked and it became May 1st, I was confused, defeated and deeply saddened. But more than anything, I wanted to trust Him no matter the circumstance.
Our sweet Holden was born on May 1st and he was running a little behind schedule. He was due at the end of April. It would be another week before we even met our son and were able to begin putting the puzzle pieces together. But during the months of February, March and April, God drew me to himself like never before. And I had a sweet time of fellowship with Him that I will always remember. And so this story goes into our little book as one more piece of evidence of God’s work in our lives, one of the many ways he has shown his love and faithfulness to our family. I love the times that we can reflect back and clearly see his hand in our puzzle. We couldn’t see it then, but it is so clear now.